Communicate to Transform - Vlog/Blog

How to interview people using personality discovery questions. What do you think are some good personality discovery questions?

Building your team is the most important process you undertake as a leader. Does your team gel and complement each other? Are they all pulling their weight? If not, you need to make a change.

Finding the right people for your team can take awhile, takes patience and determination. It can take years to build the perfect team. It’s very important to make adjustments as deficiencies reveal themselves. Don’t hesitate.

Your team defines and decides your success as a leader. As you uncover those bad apples that bring the team down, don’t wait to replace them. It costs way more in the long run.

Sometimes we need to go through as many as ten people to find the right person that enhances your team. Do it. Spend the time and the money. Make a plan and stick to it. Don’t give up.  

Write down exactly what you want in a team member. Be specific. Do you want the perso...

How to Develop Empathy. The most important connection tool for communications. 

Do people shut off or get defensive when you are communicating in a sensitive situation?  Do you struggle finding common ground in conflict? Empathy breaks barriers and takes down defensive walls. Empathy is a key ingredient in finding common ground. 

I watch people struggle with finding common ground and getting others to agree to solutions often.

What’s the road block? Most often its people’s inability to empathize and connect.

When the situation is sensitive do people shut off to you?

When there is conflict to you find yourself arguing and getting nowhere?

If this is a situation you find yourself in, it would be wise to develop your ability to empathize.

How do you do it?

Think of a time when you felt like the other person didn’t understand you and judged you negatively without listening. How did you feel? You likely felt unimportant, negated, or like the other person just doesn’t get it? Maybe y...

Non-verbal communication. How to connect before you speak. 8 tips for effective body language and facial expression. 

Is your body language engaging, confusing or repulsing? 

How do you feel when someone you’re engaging with is looking away, or appears to be closed off and not interested?  Do you feel like engaging further with them? Not likely. 

Here are 8 tips for effective body language and facial expression. 

1. Face the other person.
2. Sit or stand straight — heads up look.
3. Smile with confidence.
4. Get eye contact — direct soft gaze. Not staring but don’t let your eyes wander too much. Keep them on the other person in some way.
5. Uncross legs and arms. Posture open. 
6. Show genuine interest in them by invoking curiosity inside yourself. It shows.
7. Nod appropriately when the opportunity presents. 
8. If the other person is closed off with arms and legs crossed, open their body language by matching them with crossed arms and legs. Then open up yourself by uncrossing arms and legs. Rep
...

What is the power of the story?

People relate to stories. They like to hear them.

In building relationships, stories are powerful. I’m going to talk about 4 types of stories.

The funny story.

The whole story.

The other person’s story.

My Story (Your story if you're sharing).

The funny story opens people up with a smile. Smiling naturally opens the face and body language and breaks the ice. When we relate in humor the relationship builds trust whether the story is a joke or a true situation. Here's a light funny story:

"A Husband and wife are walking the beach while on a warm winter vacation. They come across a bottle in the sand with a cork in it. Curiosity gets the best of them. The man picks up the bottle and pulls the cork. 

Poof, out comes a great big genie. He stretches and says, I’ve been in there for a thousand years. Thanks for letting me out. I have incredible powers when I'm out of that bottle, and to show my gratitude for letting me out, I’m going to grant each of y...

Going the extra mile is the number one rule for success. Do it in your communicating. Make your communications habits healthy everyday and your relationships will flourish and be vibrant. With consistent healthy communications skills we attract consistent healthy relationships, wealth and peace of mind. 

What does consistency mean in effective communicating and how does it benefit you? How to turn consistent healthy communicating into your advantage. 

If you go to the dentist once or twice a year for cleaning and don’t brush your teeth every day, once or twice, they will rot.

Communications is the same as health hygiene. Going to a seminar about healthy communications techniques a few times won’t keep all your relationships healthy. It takes consistent healthy communications practice to keep work and personal relationships functional and vibrant.

What does consistent healthy communications practice look like?

There are 5 things to do in healthy consistent communications that wins ...

How To Communicate With Another Person as They’re Highly Emotionally Charged. Learn 7 Steps you can do to calm a situation. As you build this 7 step habit, you will successfully negotiate any crucial conversation. 

Have you ever had to deal with someone when they were really angry or frustrated? Have you ever been yelled at or called names and felt degraded by someone yelling at you?

What would it be like if you knew exactly what to do when energy in another person was too high and uncomfortable to deal with?

What would it be like if you could calm people in high energy states? 

Sometimes it’s worth it to address other people in high energy and sometimes it’s not.

When the relationship is casual or you don’t know the person, let it go, move on, don’t fret. It’s not usually worth your peace of mind, or is it? 

Ask yourself, ‘do you really need to teach this person something?’ If you do, it could take awhile. Be prepared for a long conversation and learn how to communicate well in ...

How to Effectively Communicate When Dealing With Your Own Intense Emotion.

Out Line:

Have you ever been so angry or frustrated, you said or did something you wish you hadn’t?

What do you do when you’re triggered with intense emotion? Do you yell? Do you close up and avoid?

Do you know how to calm yourself and react with confidence? Would you like to develop the tools inside you to respond effectively in tough situations?

What would it be like if you had tools to calm yourself before reacting in intense emotion with confidence and sure footedness? Do you think outcomes of difficult conversations would be different? Yes or yes? 

Here's the Steps.

1. Stop when emotionally charged to high levels.

2. Become aware of your HIP. Your Human Interaction Process. We sense, we think, we feel, we Intend, then we act. It"s our interaction process. What did you see or hear. What were your thoughts about what you saw and heard. What feelings or emotions were triggered. 

Pause

Detach John Sto...

How to Find Common Ground in Difficult Situations and Get the Other Person to Say Yes at Least 3 Times.

What would it be like if you knew how to find common ground with difficult people and move the struggle onward?

Do you have people in your life you would like to be able to communicate with at a deeper level?

Or do you have people in your life that you just want to get them to understand you better?

Do you ever feel like you can’t get through to someone?

Would you like more confidence approaching difficult situations?

What would it be like if you could find a way to get to common ground and find compromise with anyone?

What would it be like if you knew exactly how to approach any difficult situation?

What would it be like if you knew exactly how to adjust instantly in difficult conversations?  

Would you have less stress? Would you like that?

Communicating: From the Latin word, communis, which literally means “to make common,” communication isn’t about doing something to so...

Help Me Communicate
Mar 7, 2018

How to Push the People on Your Team
to the Next Level — With Respect

Do you have people on your team you want to perform at a higher level?

Do you have someone on your team that has potential but just don’t quite know how to bring it out?

Do you have someone on your team that brings down the rest of the team?

How do you get them motivated and inspired to perform?

 There are 7 steps you can do to break the down cycle.

Outline:

1.     Identify the problem and plan the conversation — write it out.

2.     Book a time for the conversation and in the meeting, share what you planned. Ask them what their perception is. Do they understand and agree?

3.     Ask them what needs to happen to take them to the next level.

4.     Agree on a process to take them to the next level.

5.     Agree to meet again at specific times to discuss the progress.

6.     Write it all down in the coaching file.

7.     Follow up with positive affirmations as often as you c...

The Biggest Communication Problem:

“We Listen to Reply, Not to Understand.”

When you listen to understand, you build trust and greatly improve your chances of getting the outcome you want. Learn the simple steps to active and reflective listening and you will understand and be respected. People will open up and your ability to influence and lead will dramatically improve. 

Do you ever wonder why people don’t get your message or go on the defensive? Do they get frustrated or angry? Do they stop talking? Do they stop listening? Do they avoid you? Do they keep doing what you want them to stop?

The Biggest Communication Problem: We Listen to Reply, Not to Understand.

Don’t let yourself get caught up in this common habit. Learn active listening  and make it one of your communications habits. 

Have you ever felt like someone’s not listening to you? How do you respond?

Do you close up? Do you raise your voice? Do you get caught up in your internal chatter and say to yourself, I give up...