What to do if you make a mistake so you can turn it into a benefit.

Have you ever had a time where you did something wrong, or said the wrong thing, and worried about how to fix it.  

When my friend Roger says something he later wished he hadn’t, he says he had an ‘open mouth, insert foot moment’.

When you make a mistake, do what Successful People do!

1. Admit your mistake!
2. Fix it Now! Don't wait!
3. Learn from your mistake!

People admire people who admit their mistakes, fix them and learn from them. If you want to build trust in any relationship, own the mistakes you make, fix them and learn from them.

We’ve all made mistakes. There is an opportunity to turn it into a benefit when we handle the situation with integrity and honesty.

When I owned cellular phone stores, often mistakes were made by inexperienced sales and service people managing expectations.

Once, a customer was so angry, he wanted to cancel everything after two days of using his phone. He was...

How to prepare for your job interview, communicate in it and get the job you want. 

Prepare:

1. Know what you want — best case scenario. Imagine what it would be like to have that perfect job and exactly what it would look like.
2. Research the company or organization you have the interview with. Get o know them and their mission statement. If you can find out who the interviewer is, research them. 
3. Make your list of questions.

Now you’re ready for the interview:

4. Psyche yourself up just before going into the interview.
5. Be aware of, and control your body language and eye contact.
6. Go with the flow of the interview.
7. Sell yourself.
8. Ask closing questions.

1. Know what you want. Decide what the perfect job for you is. What kind of work do you like to do? What kind of work atmosphere do you like to work in? What type of people do you like to work with? What do you want to learn? What are you willing to learn? What kind of product or service would you like to work...

This week in Help Me communicate. Selling yourself when communicating! Maybe you want a new job, a new mate or a new anything. Maybe you want to be a great leader. Learn to sell yourself and your ideas effectively.

You sell all day anyway. All of us sell all day through the natural 5 step Human Interaction Process.

Today you can learn what you’re doing right and what you’re doing wrong when you’re selling yourself and your ideas, at work or in your social environment. 

Are you selling your ideas to your team effectively? Do you want to lead the best team in your organization? Good leaders are good sellers.

Today I’ll give some tips on selling yourself with integrity and honesty using Socratic selling in your natural Human Interaction Process. HIP.

When you learn to sell yourself effectively with healthy communications techniques, life opens up and opportunities are easier to recognize and cease.

Actually, you are selling in every human interaction with...

The simple science of feelings and emotion. Using the Magnetic Power of Feelings to Communicate. 

First I'm going to explain the Simple Science of Feelings and Emotions. Then I'll explain how you can learn to use your magnetic force of feeling in a communication process to increase your success in every aspect of life.

Feelings affect, probably more than anything else except for thought, how we communicate and the level of success we achieve in our lives.

The simple science of feelings/emotions. 4 Facts:

1. Feelings and emotions are part of an electromagnetic energy inside all of us.
2. Feelings or emotions are part of every communication interaction in our lives.
3. The reward of a feeling or emotion is the same feeling or emotion. They grow.They're contagious and spread. 
4. Feelings and emotions have different qualities.

Let me explain.

1. Humans have an electromagnetic energy force inside them. We are slowly learning to understand and measure it.

The...

How to create Healthy Personal Boundaries in communicating. People SKOWL.  We Secret Keep, Omit, Withhold and Lie to different degrees in different situations. It’s a common denominator and part of personal boundaries. It’s done with the intention of keeping people safe. How do you create healthy boundaries to maintain healthy safe relationships? 

Today I’m going to talk about using healthy omitting, withholding and secret keeping.

By developing healthy personal boundaries, you put yourself in a position to have peace of mind in your relationships. All of them.

Are your boundaries healthy? Take at look at your relationships. The ones that are dysfunctional are that way partly because boundaries are muddled.

Creating different boundaries for the different groups of people in your life is important to your mental health and is actually natural for people.

I haven’t met a person who doesn’t SKOWL at points in their lives.

Because of our unique...

Self talk. When you’re in that difficult situation, your self talk prior to saying anything is crucial. What should it look like?

What would it be like if you could calm yourself in any situation?

What would it be like if you could respond to difficult situations with a calm confident approach knowing exactly what to say?

Self talk governs our emotional state and our emotional state is critical when the stakes are high and emotions run deep in crucial conversations or difficult circumstances.

When our emotions are spiked we say and do things we normally wouldn’t. Controlling spiked emotions happens with self talk. Our controlled thoughts can govern and control our emotions and feelings.

What would it be like if you could calm yourself in any situation?

What would it be like if you could respond to difficult situations with a calm confident approach?

Self talk governs how you decide to speak, what words you choose, how your emotions and feelings get projected.

...

Help Me Communicate.

The Power of Intentions in Communicating.

What is the difference between underlying and overlying intentions? How do they affect communications?

Expressing intentions are a very key part of the communications process.

As humans when we communicate, we go through a 5 step Human Interaction Process.

1. We sense something first. We hear or see something typically.
2. A thought/perception is triggered. We think about what we saw and heard.
3. The next thing that happens is we get a feeling or emotion about what we saw and heard.
4. Then we derive an intention based on what we saw or heard, thought and felt.
5. We choose to act in some way. The action can be silence, speaking words, reaching out and touching, etc.

We sense, think, feel, intend and act. This is our communication process as humans.

The intention and choice of action determines if communication stays on track or goes off. Expressing and understanding each person’s intention is an important key to conflict...

How to interview people using personality discovery questions. What do you think are some good personality discovery questions?

Building your team is the most important process you undertake as a leader. Does your team gel and complement each other? Are they all pulling their weight? If not, you need to make a change.

Finding the right people for your team can take awhile, takes patience and determination. It can take years to build the perfect team. It’s very important to make adjustments as deficiencies reveal themselves. Don’t hesitate.

Your team defines and decides your success as a leader. As you uncover those bad apples that bring the team down, don’t wait to replace them. It costs way more in the long run.

Sometimes we need to go through as many as ten people to find the right person that enhances your team. Do it. Spend the time and the money. Make a plan and stick to it. Don’t give up.  

Write down exactly what you want in a team member. Be...

How to Develop Empathy. The most important connection tool for communications. 

Do people shut off or get defensive when you are communicating in a sensitive situation?  Do you struggle finding common ground in conflict? Empathy breaks barriers and takes down defensive walls. Empathy is a key ingredient in finding common ground. 

I watch people struggle with finding common ground and getting others to agree to solutions often.

What’s the road block? Most often its people’s inability to empathize and connect.

When the situation is sensitive do people shut off to you?

When there is conflict to you find yourself arguing and getting nowhere?

If this is a situation you find yourself in, it would be wise to develop your ability to empathize.

How do you do it?

Think of a time when you felt like the other person didn’t understand you and judged you negatively without listening. How did you feel? You likely felt unimportant, negated, or like the other person...

Non-verbal communication. How to connect before you speak. 8 tips for effective body language and facial expression. 

Is your body language engaging, confusing or repulsing? 

How do you feel when someone you’re engaging with is looking away, or appears to be closed off and not interested?  Do you feel like engaging further with them? Not likely. 

Here are 8 tips for effective body language and facial expression. 

1. Face the other person.
2. Sit or stand straight — heads up look.
3. Smile with confidence.
4. Get eye contact — direct soft gaze. Not staring but don’t let your eyes wander too much. Keep them on the other person in some way.
5. Uncross legs and arms. Posture open. 
6. Show genuine interest in them by invoking curiosity inside yourself. It shows.
7. Nod appropriately when the opportunity presents. 
8. If the other person is closed off with arms and legs crossed, open their body language by matching them with crossed arms and...